To find time for yourself is almost impossible as a mother. You are always having to take care of something or someone. If I do find a moment to myself then I am bombarded by guilt that I am not taking care of something or someone. It isn't exactly what you call ideal but hey what can ya do? Screw that noise! I know what I can do. I can take the time! Just grab it and own it! Know that I deserve it and don't let guilt stand in my way. I am not going to limit this just to mothers though because I know that a lot of fathers deserve their moments of solitude as well. Oddly enough though most fathers have no worries about taking the time.So why is it then that we(mothers) have such a difficult time? I could play the whole gender card and just say it is our sensitive feminine nature but I know better.It goes much deeper than that. Just speaking for myself really here I would have to say the reason I have issues with taking time is that there is no border between work and home. My work and play coexist within each other, but funny enough I even need a break from the play. Mainly because the play is 2 and 4 year old play and not so much adult play. I love building airplanes out of Lego's and drinking air out of tea cups but I can only go on so long before I start becoming just a little wonky. Who am I kidding I already am a little wonky. I suppose the whole point in this little entry is that I want for all the mothers in the world to not feel so damn guilty about locking the bathroom door and enjoying a good soak in a hot bubble bath. A girl can dream can't she?
I always think of the oxygen mask in an airplane... You can't save your babies until you first make sure that you have oxygen yourself... I'm not good at it either. I'm good about taking time that I need - but only to pay bills, mow the lawn, clean the house or try to make money... the other stuff not so much... :)
ReplyDeleteFinally able to read your thoughts from here at our studio.
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't stop with just your children, it goes on and on, because it is a deep wound into the psyche of women.
If we don't start when we're young mothers carving some space for ourselves, and making it sacred, our space will be carved up and served to anything and everything that can grasp it.
I am your mother, and at 62 I am still carving out and sculpting space, for time to be deeply inside who I truly am. And this space is the nurturance that opens my heart so much to you.
It is so wonderful to see you claiming this same sacred space for yourself, as a woman. We claimed it together for you as a child, and your courage never failed you.