Sometimes when I see myself in the mirror I don't quite recognize myself. I see this empty shell of an incredible woman. I don't think it is terrible what I have become but it is not what i planned exactly. I am not sure if this is what is "normal" to think about or if it very "motherly" of me. I just have some feelings of disappointment. Not in my kids at all! Just in myself. Not having the balls to keep myself through it all. Staying true to myself. Knowing who I am and sticking with that image. Keeping that image crystal clear in my minds eye. I want to look in the mirror and know who I am and be happy with that. I don't want to have this void. I am happy don't get me wrong. I love my family. I just wish I could have that fire too. I suppose that is another less obvious reason we tell our kids not to play with fire. Children and fire in any form can never co exist. I just wish there a solution or even a compromise of some sort. I need that. I need to fill this void.I don't want to fill it with just anything. I want it to stand for something. Didn't when you were a kid ever itch to make some kind of dent in the world. To leave it better than the state you were born into. My children are my dent. They are my difference in this world. They are what I need to fill this void
Go Ms. Pysche........you are and you will continue to fill their lives and in the doing,create that better tomorrow for them and you and all of us......xoox
ReplyDeleteThe fire is inside, so you don't always see it, but it is pulsing there like the very essence of your alchemy.
ReplyDeleteWe have taught your children to play with fire,together with you, the fire inside, and they are quite remarkable little alchemists.
They are learning to make a difference in their play lab oratory, and this they learned from you. So flame up and be proud.
love, Clarity