My children in all their glory

My sweet daughter Isabella when she was 4 months old. She is 19 months old now. They grow up so fast.

To start a new is not an easy task. To become something else other than the person you have become is frightening. I have come a custom to this way of life. I never knew that this whole time my brain has been starving.To fear self progress is rooted into our very being.Why am I afraid to succeed?I suppose it is the fear of disappointment. I am terrified that by actually allowing myself room to succeed I will end up not being as billiant as everyone thinks I am. I have become accustomed to never being good enough. Now that i am steadily approaching the line of what I have become and what I want to be I am hesitant.

I want to be here and I want to be there. My body and mind disagree with my heart. How can one win in a fight between the body and soul? I suppose this is just one of those low days. You know what kind of days I am talking about. The kind where you feel like nothing is as it should be and the things that might be where they should be aren't really even close. It is always a risk a mother takes. I could easily lose myself in the daily routine that is my life. Just hide behind the endless alarm clock buzzers and gallons of coffee. Instead I chose to create a blog. Ha!